To Know and To See.

I am not really big into new year's resolutions.  It is just not my thing.  I usually like setting a goal half way through the year instead of while "everyone is doing it."  But over the past few days I have been really trying to focus in a few ways that I want 2013 to look for me.  Don't worry this is not a resolution:) But the Lord has laid a couple of things on my heart that I have been recently praying about.

First, I want to know Jesus.  This may sound silly, but at my church back home we have just finished up a series called, "How I Met Jesus."  It is pretty self explanatory, but we covered the specific characters that were involved in the birth of Christ. This was from the wise men to King Herod to Anna etc.  It got me thinking on the time that I met Jesus. 

While I was running yesterday I came to the conclusion that there was a time that I met Jesus and then there was a time that I knew Jesus.  When I was in third grade I accepted Christ into my life.  I am sure I had a talk with my parents about it, and I am sure that we prayed about it.  But honestly I do not remember it at all.  My parents have just told me that it happened, and I trust them.  Do I believe that it was not sincere and real? Absolutely not.  But I do think for me that there was a time in my life that I started understanding who Jesus was.  Instead of treating Him like He was just a best friend, I started to realize that I must worship Him as my Sovereign Savior.  

It was not until when we adopted Caroline that I truly was able to grasp what it meant to be loved by God the Father.  I still don't fully understand it and never will, but I started realizing slowly but surely what the Father was like.  Fast forward many years and I remember sitting in my bedroom at home and reading through the Bible (Old and New Testament) and little by little the whole Jesus idea started to become very real to me.  This is when I would I say I started to know Jesus.  This is when I started realizing He was more than just a pal that I should check in on occasionally.  BUT He was humble enough to take on flesh and come into this world and yet still remain fully God, and because of that He was worthy of all my honor and praise. Nothing more. Nothing less.

In the last few weeks of studying the New Testament this concept came up over and over while I was studying.  I love how the Amplified version puts Philippians 3:10, "For my determined purpose is that I may know HIm that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in the same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection, and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed to His death."
It was explained at school that this translation of "know" is the most intimate form.  It is used in the same way in Genesis 4:1, "Adam knew Eve."
This is my prayer for 2013: I want to know Jesus more and more.
Finally, I want to see Jesus. I have been super excited to come back and study the Old Testament, and I have had a few strange looks when I tell people this.  But this has been my desire as I prepare for the Old Testament.  I want to see Jesus throughout as I study.  So many times I hear, "The Old Testament is filled with just a bunch of laws."  But I don't want to see laws..I want to see Jesus.
So my "not new year's resolution" is to know and to see. This is my prayer and my desire during 2013. So bring it on!

Anna Lauren

P.S. Shout out to everyone sleep deprived at Passion 2013.  Praying for freedom and restoration!